


I'm (Not) Okay

by DominikaDecember



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bullying, Child Abuse, Epilepsy Warning, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Family Dynamic, Homophobia, Jock Stiles, M/M, Nerd Derek, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Warning: Kate Argent, dead hale dad, in talia and natalie's case, warning Kate Argent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9914972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DominikaDecember/pseuds/DominikaDecember
Summary: If life was easy then it wouldn't have happened. If life was easy then Derek would have left Beacon Hills with his crush and it would have been fine. But life isn't easy. Life isn't fair. It's cruel and it hurts.And denial is the only way to keep on going.





	

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A FUNNY FLUFFY PIECE OVER NERD DEREK AND JOCK STILEC CUS I WANT MORE BUT NOOOOOOOO IT HAD TO TURN INTO THIS MONSTER
> 
> So this fic focuses more on sexual abuse and how some people deal with it, or don't deal with it. It focuses a lot on family dynamics. It focuses a lot on friendship. 
> 
> Sterek is actually a small part of it.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, BULLYING, TORMENTING, CHILD ABUSE, EPILEPSY BULLYING, SEX FOR UNHEALTHY REASONS, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, DEALTHING WITH THINGS IN AN UNHEALTHY WAY, HIGH SCHOOL SOCIAL LADDER, FAMILY ARGUMENTS, HURT AND HURT, NOT MUCH COMFORT, INSLUTS, IDK, DEADPOOL,
> 
> This story is about a female assaulting a male which happens in this world. I am a female and I apologise if it triggers any of the readers or is simply not well written.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Derek banged his head on the wheel. Laura probably would shriek at him hurting his baby if she saw. 

The Camaro was a ton more important than her little brother’s humiliation.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” He kept on saying to himself and finally managed to bump his head into the horn. Startled, he stopped hitting himself and looked around the surroundings. He was in an empty parking lot of the closed, local store.

His old second handed Nokia 3330 showed his mother’s name and he groaned, hitting now the back of his head on his head rest. He was late. He picked up cringing with the rising guilt.

“Hi.” He said cautiously 

“Derek, where are you?” His mother’s concerned tone upping the level of guilt once more. “Are you okay, honey? It’s getting dark. Are you hurt?”

“No, no. I’m fine.” Derek quickly answered. “I’ll be home soon. I’m sorry I’m late. I had a little…incident.” He winced at his choice of words. An incident was a timid word not enough to describe the shame and embarrassment he was feeling. Before his mother could worry even more he started talking again. "It’s fine. Nothing to worry about. I’m coming back now.” He turned the key in the ignition starting up the engine and Talia Hale fretted again.

“No, honey. Don’t start whilst you’re on the phone. Let me hang up. I’ll see you soon.” Derek sighed and dropped his Nokia on the passenger seat before pulling out of the car park. 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” He repeated all the way home.

*.*.*.*

“Wassup playah.” Isaac grinned as he sat next to Derek at the table. Derek opted for studying algebra than eating the Beacon High cafeteria lunch on the red tray, which was moved further away to make space for his textbook. Isaac looked at the tray with appetite. “You gonna eat that?”

“Never.” Derek didn’t even look up from his calculations as Isaac inhaled the gooey grey substance. “You skipped dinner again?”

“Yeah.” Isaac laughed nervously. “I locked myself in the gym storage again.” Derek paused in his work. 

“You locked yourself or someone locked you _in_?” He asked feeling fury bubble up under his skin. Isaac didn’t answer, he focused on the frozen reheated and now cold peas. “Are you serious? Again? God damn it, Isaac.” Derek hissed, his pen breaking in his hand and he looked at his dejected friend who wouldn’t meet his eyes. “This is so unbelievable. They are terrorising you.” Isaac shrugged. 

“I’m used to it. It’s not a big deal.” He muttered in response. Derek felt his anger build up more and more and he glanced around the cafeteria. The ‘ _they_ ’ was a group of lacrosse jocks sitting in the centre of the room with their cheerleader fan club on the arm of practically every single person on the team. Derek got up and marched over to the two people he hated with passion through his entire existence in Beacon Hills. Jackson Whittemore and Kate Argent. Jackson was a co-captain of the lacrosse team. Kate was the other co-captain. And they loved to ruin everyone who was in their eye line. 

No one at the table looked up when Derek approached until he slammed his hands on the table. Everyone went quiet. The table was meant for six however there was probably more than 20 people around and they all stared in silence at Derek who was glaring with hate at Jackson and Kate. The two lacrosse captains were smirking and lounging comfortably in their seats like usual. 

“You hurt any of my friends again and I will make sure that all the power you two have illusioned yourself with, will be gone in two minutes.” He growled at them. Kate’s smirk turned into a leer as Jackson spoke.

“You have friends? Wow, Four Eyes Hale can actually socialise. Here I thought all you could do was be impotent.” People snickered as they realised to what Jackson was referring to. Kate sat up straighter, clearly satisfied with herself. Derek ignored all that.

“I’m serious. You think you’re scary to me, Whittemore? My sister is Laura freaking Hale.” Jackson scoffed like he didn’t care but his face paled slightly. Derek turned to Kate who was smirking at Jackson being told off. “And you. You sexually assault me and think that you can use that to gain popularity points?” Kate’s smirk deflated in seconds and turned into anger as people around started to whisper in shock. “You’re lucky I’m not going to the police for what you tried to do to me. You leave me and my people alone. End of conversation.” He pushed back and walked off towards Isaac who was joined by Erica and Boyd at the table. All three of them had their jaws opened. The whole cafeteria had gone silent at some point and everyone had heard the small speech Derek gave the two biggest bullies in the school. 

“Derek, you didn’t have to do that.” Isaac said bashfully, his cheeks brightening. “But thanks.” Erica took a deep breath and everyone at the table braced themselves for what was about to happen.

“Holy freaking crap! Derek! That was the shit! The fucking bomb! I mean you owned those two shits. Holy fuck.” Erica grinned, her eyes sparkling with joy. “That was the coolest fucking shit I’ve ever experienced. My cunt is like singing with joy.” Derek returned to his algebra work. 

“Miss Reyes, we do not use profanity in this school.” Ms Morrell, the guidance counsellor, said with a serene face as she approached their table. “Mr Hale, I may have overheard some of the things said to Miss Argent and Mr Whittemore. If you would like to discuss it, my office is always available.” Derek pushed up his glasses that slid down to his nose surprised. No one ever helped him before. But Ms Morrell just started that year. She seemed nice. 

“Thank you. I’ll think about it.” He told her. 

“That was odd.” Boyd commented when she walked away. “Senior year is odd.” Everyone muttered in agreement. “The moment I get any college acceptance letters, I’m out of this town.” Again, everyone muttered in agreement.

*.*.*.*

“Hey, tiny dancer.” Laura grinned as she walked into the house. 

“What?” Derek frowned not understanding the reference. 

“Jeez, it’s only one of the classic Elton Jones’.” She huffed and dropped onto the couch. Derek was sitting on the floor with his books in front of him, writing pad in his lap and his laptop on the ground next to him. Lydia was on the opposite side of the room with a book on physics laying effortlessly in her open palm. Cora was wobbling around dragging a stuffed toy dog behind her. She explained with earnest importance to Derek that the dog was called Lady from Lady in the Tramp. After having the DVD cover practically jammed in his eye by his three-year-old niece, Derek remarked that there was an uncanny resemblance. It was also bought from the Disney store so that probably helped a lot. “Hey, birdie.” Laura directed at Lydia whose features softened slightly at being acknowledged.

“Laura. I thought you had the night shift.” The eldest Hale grinned and grabbed the smallest into her arms, earning a happy giggle from Cora. 

“Got it covered. Wanted to spend some time with my family.” She nuzzled her face into Cora’s neck and blew a raspberry earning another giggle. Derek watched with a small pleasant feeling growing in his stomach. Lydia watched with a fondness as well. It was difficult for others to distinguish her features into emotions however after ten years of being step sibling living in the same house, Derek learned a few. “What are you up to? Studying to beat Stephen Hawking?” Laura asked cradling her daughter tightly. Cora seemed happy enough playing with her Lady. 

“I’m hoping he can appreciate what I can bring to the table and we’d form a partnership.” Lydia said in a matter of fact tone but it was obvious to them she was making a joke. “I didn’t take any physics courses this semester but I hope to pick it up soon so I’m keeping up with the material.” She explained earning an approval nod from Laura. 

“That sounds really smart. But are you able to keep up with your work and study another subject without being too overwhelmed?” Laura asked with real concern in her voice. “Part-time high school, part-time community college. It just seems like you’re pushing yourself too much. You know, you guys are only 17. You don’t have to study all the time.” She directed at Derek as well. 

“Laur, it’s kind of hard to think of you as a sensible adult giving us advice on how to live life when you blew up Harris’ car.” Derek finally finished his homework and started typing it up on the computer. 

“Allegedly.” Laura reminded everyone. “Such a blemish on my name, haunting constantly my existence and no evidence to prove that it was me.” Lydia let out a small chuckle as she flipped a page in her book.

“You bragged about it in your valedictorian speech.” Derek paused his typing as a small, soft, stuffed paw made way onto his knee, supported by a tiny wrist. He slowly put the laptop on his writing pad and caught the paw. Cora started making little whining noises as Derek tugged on it, his glasses slipping back onto his nose.

“I did no such thing!” Laura protested throwing her arms out in a protesting motion. “ I merely thanked a certain individual that came up with the genius idea to delay that chemistry lab which was incidentally about chemical reactions with fire that occurred in our chemistry teacher’s vehicle.” Lydia shook her head with a small smile. 

“How you became a deputy is beyond my understanding.” Laura leaned back on the couch. 

“See, that’s the thing Lyds.” Derek started tickling Cora to make her let go of her toy. “I am super good at deceiving people. It’s all part of my past life as an actress.” She flipped her long black hair back dramatically. Cora was crying with laughter as Derek continued to tickle her and bobbing her face with Lady’s nose. “So what did you do yesterday, Derek Mama T was tots worried when you didn’t haul your ass back here for curfew.” Derek froze feeling like a bucket of ice water was thrown on him, before moving away from Cora completely giving her back her toy and placing the laptop back on his legs. He could feel Lydia’s watchful eyes on him as well. 

“I, uh… I was at this… thing.” Laura’s interest peaked with aversiveness. He should have just come up with some lie. Getting stuck in the library would have been the best.

“Yeeeeeeeeah.” His older sister drawled out as he was nearly finished copying his work onto the word document. “‘Cause that’s a sure way to make me let something go.” He huffed and finished his document. The room stayed silent and he knew that all three, even little Cora, were still expecting an explanation. He sent it to the wireless printer they had placed in the kitchen storage cupboard that was right next to the router. For some reason it worked best in that end of the house. 

But he didn’t get to walk into the kitchen because Cora’s words made him stop just as he was getting up. 

“What happened, uncwe Dewek? You missed my fawy tayes.” She looked at him big sad eyes. “Grandma Nat said they wewe the besht ones.” Derek was sure he levelled up once more in the guilt department. He looked at his palms and started tracing the lines with his thumbs.

“I…I was at a…Party.” Lydia sat up straighter.

“Oh my God. You went to Stiles’ party?” She asked interested. 

“It’s not…It’s because.” He stopped talking trying to explain what happened that night. “I got a call from Allison Argent to come and pick Kate up because she was wasted.” He stopped trying to think of how he could say what happened in the smallest amount of words and least explicit. Cora was still in the room and whilst Laura often was crude in front of her child, encouraging a rebellious side to take over, Derek was a bit more reserved. 

“Wait, so you took _my_ car to pick up a freaking _ARGENT_?” Laura asked, clearly pissed off. “How does an _ARGENT_ even have your phone number?”

“Me and Allison had to do a diorama together for history one time.” He mumbled. “I got to the party and Kate seemed to be very drunk. Allison was nowhere in sight and Kate dragged me to a room near by.” He closed his eyes as he remembered the later events. “She tried…But I said no and she didn’t hear me, I thought it was because she was drunk. She wasn’t drunk at all. I couldn’t…” He took a deep breath. “…p-preform…and she got angry…and-and…and she started screaming that I was…” He swallowed hard at the words. “….deficient and a….a f-f-fag….and um…she tried to…she tried to go through with it….e-even though…I couldn’t and I didn’t want to and…” He opened his eyes feeling his cheeks burn with the humiliation of telling his sister and step-sister what happened. Both of their expressions unreadable. “I managed to get way, saw Allison downstairs. She was talking to Malia, I asked her about the text and she said something about Kate begging her to help and I just…I spent the next hour at an empty lot trying to calm down.” Laura stood up and walked into the kitchen with little Cora following her mother. Lydia’s face changed to one of pity.

“I’m very sorry that that happened to you, Derek.” She said gently from across the room. He nodded not knowing what to say. He felt embarrassed enough. Laura came back into the room, Cora no longer behind her but could be heard in the kitchen talking to herself. Laura had her gun in one hand and a bottle of lighter fluid in the other. 

“Imma fuck that bitch up.” She growled waving her gun in Derek’s general direction. He stood up immediately trying to grab it away from her. Accidental shooting have occurred in Laura’s timeline of owning a gun.

“Yeah, no. You can’t do that. Give me that damn gun.” Lydia also stood up but she was grabbing matches, not helping Derek calm Laura down. “You’re a police officer. You uphold the law.”

“Screw the law!” Laura yelled enraged. “I robbed a bank! I WILL FUCK THAT BITCH UP! RIP HER EXTENSIONS OUT AND POP THOSE BALLOONS WITH A NAIL FILE!” Derek, still trying to get the gun that was waving in his face, felt scared that Laura would actually do that.

“It was monopoly! Just calm down!” 

“I’LL CALM DOWN WHEN PANDAS ARE NOT ENDANGERED!” She got free of Derek’s grip and started marching to the door, Derek running behind her and Lydia throwing the matches to the eldest Hale yelling she’ll watch Cora. 

“That’s irrational! Animal species endangerment takes time to control!” Derek had a hard time keeping up with his sister who was walking at an inhuman speed. She was fast in her camaro but this seemed to be impossibly quick. Plus she was a deputy and kept in shape at all times. “Laura, please! I don’t want you to this!” He begged still running after her. She stopped a couple of houses away and turned to him, her hair hitting him in the face.

“That piece of shit engaged another person in a coo to take advantage of you without your consent and even though you were not anatomically ready, she wanted to go through with raping you! How can you not want to burn her alive? How many people has she done this too? I could be saving thousands of young boys that she is preying on!” Laura went on a rant, her gun still in her hand. “How do you not want repercussions, Derek?! Why haven’t you reported this yet? Why are you acting like it’s just another high school prank? And what about Isaac? I know they’ve been bullying him! They’ve forced Erica to have seizures and posted online videos of her soiling herself! Boyd cannot leave his house without being called ‘ _hobo scum_ ’ because his family’s on food stamps! Not to mention the other kids that are terrified of coming into school. Do you not want to punish her for that?! Derek, what is going through your head? Why are you just willing to let it go?!” She breathed heavily staring at her little brother. 

“I’m not, Laura.” He said calmly because he knew all of those things. They already went through his head. “I told them if they didn’t stop, I’d go to the police about what she did and I’d sick you on Jackson.” Laura was frozen with a gun in one hand, a box of matches and lighter fluid in the other, and her mouth gaped open for a full minute. She slowly put her hands down.

“Well.” She coughed. “That certainly explains your attitude about this.” Laura shuffled her feet around before looking back up at him. “Okay. I’ll leave it be. But write down what exactly happened and make a copy and give it to me. I don’t trust that bitch to keep away from you guys. And I’ll need a copy of the texts Allison sent you as well.” Derek nodded as his sister was subdued.

“Okay, let’s go home. I’m sure you freaked Cora out running out like that.” Laura put the gun in her waistband at her spine. She glanced once more at the Argent mansion before walking back in the direction of their house. 

“She’s freaked me out way worse by running into the middle of the street a couple of days ago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was scary. But we got free pizza out of it.”

*.*.*.*

Derek groaned as he woke up from another dream where he was in the shower with a strapping young lacrosse player that was whispering such filthy things in Derek’s ear that the Hale teenager nearly came right away. Unfortunately he had to deal with his annoying erection that was more awake than him. He glared at the tent his penis made underneath his duvet. 

“One of these days I’m gonna destroy you.” He muttered and walked uncomfortably out of his room into the shower. He was lucky that none of the women in the household were using it at the moment. Talia and Natalie had their own in the master bedroom but Derek had to share the common bathroom with Lydia, Laura and Cora. When Laura explained to him the amount of stuff she had to do in there to get ready for the day, he stopped whining over how much time they took. Even little Cora was starting to take time, mimicking her mother. 

He got into the hot water and started thinking about anything to release the tension. Unfortunately thoughts of the universe imploding didn’t do anything so he went into another direction and reluctantly put his hand around himself, moving up and down trying desperately to ignore the thought lingering at the back of his head. 

However the small details like golden honey eyes, pink mouth that was always stuffed with curly fries and long fingers that often kept on patching up the nylon strings in a lacrosse stick kept on slipping in and were more helpful in getting him to the edge of his problem than no thoughts at all so he let himself imagine.

He imagined a certain someone being there with him, their foreheads touching and gasping shallow breaths in each other’s faces as another hand would join Derek’s in between his thighs and slowly put a thumb over Derek’s slit, pressing with just the tiniest pressure. Derek let out a small quiet moan as he imagined the other hand taking control over the speed and soon he was rocking himself as his cum was spluttering onto the shower wall.

It took a couple of deep breaths before he regained control over himself and repressed the idiotic dreams he just had. 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” He muttered. The only thing comforting him at that moment was that Kate Argent was very wrong. He definitely was not impotent.

*.*.*.*

“Oh my gosh, look at me because I’m perfection.” Erica grinned as she sauntered up to the locker next to Derek’s. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder in a very Laura way. “I got it straightened yesterday. Doesn’t it look nice?” She seemed excited about her new hair do. Derek nodded and smiled. She did look different with it.

“Yeah. It’s really pretty.” Her grin widened with happiness and small blushes appeared on her cheeks. 

“Thanks.” She leaned on the lockers as he pulled out an AP English textbook. “So no one has come up to me today and shoved flashing lights in my face.” He put his biology textbook in along with the notepad. “I think you may have actually saved the Relahaloyd Squad.” He paused for a moment and looked at her confused.

“The what?” He asked Erica who rolled her eyes.

“The Relahaloyd Squad. You know. Erica Reyes, Isaac Lahey, Derek Hale, Vernon Boyd. I combined our last names for a cutsie name to describe us all. Like you do with couples or pairings. Because it’s easier.”

“Please tell me my sister knows nothing of this.” 

“Of course not. She would have come up with a way better name. I can’t have something undermining me like that.” She scoffed and Derek closed his locker. “But the point I’m trying to make is that what happened, must have worked.” She walked with him to next period. They had English together so it wasn’t an issue.

“Good.” He replied distracted trying to find his homework in his brand new bag pack that his mom found in a thrift shop when someone bumped into his left shoulder. Hard. “Ow.” Derek said quietly as he looked at Scott McCall, one of the great lacrosse players, accidentally backed up and walked over the bag. 

“Sorry, dude.” He stepped off the bag and picked it up, trying to dust it off but there were clear footprints on it now. He did look apologetic when he passed it over to Derek. “I can buy you a new one if you want.” Erica snorted unattractively from behind Derek.

“He doesn’t need your money, McCall.” Venom audible in her voice. Scott glanced over her but turned back to Derek who was holding his bag in his hands and tried to think of how to explain that to his mother. 

“Hey, Scotty!” A familiar voice cut through his thoughts as a figure jogged up to Scott. “What’s going on, man?” Derek looked up slowly at the person in front of him who was biting their lip and staring at Scott perplexed. McCall started sheepishly explaining.

“I was texting Allison and I ran into Derek by accident and ruined his bag.” He slapped his friend’s shoulder in excitement. “Stiles, you know stuff about stuff. Any chance you can help?” Stiles’s eyes finally graced Derek’s presence and he almost melted, dropping his bag on the ground. 

“N-Not, don’t worry, i-it’s t-otally, s-super fine.” Derek mumbled as he bent down to get his bag but his hands were shaking so much that he fumbled with it and dropped it once more. Stiles beamed down at him and held out his hand. It took Derek a moment to realise that he was helping him get up. “Thanks.”

“No probs, dude. Can I see your bag?” Derek passed it over with shaking hands. Stiles’s eyes roamed over the object not paying any attention. “Scotty, don’t worry your pretty little face.” Stiles pulled something out of his own bag pack. It was wet wipes. His long slender fingers worked with focus on scrubbing the shoe prints out of the fabric.

Derek actually felt his mouth water. It was easy to ignore Stiles when he was in a crowd but right here, right in front of him, working on making his life better, deep lines forming on his face, Derek had a hard time reminding himself that Stiles was unobtainable and to stop wasting his time on dreaming about something that will not ever exist. 

“There.” Stiles smiled. “Better. Right, Hale?” He returned the bag to Derek and it looked perfect. Even better than before. 

“Thank you.” Derek whispered not daring to look up again. 

“Wow. You guys are actually useful sometimes.” Erica commented and pulled on Derek’s arm dragging him away from Scott and Stiles. “Who knew that mindless jocks actually have brains?” 

“Hey, I feel bad enough already.” Scott said after them but Erica ignored him and kept on walking.

“I swear, sometimes it’s not even a surprise high school is the breeding ground for villains.” She said to her friend as they entered the classroom and sat in their desks near the front. Derek grunted something in reply still staring at his bag and lost in the knowledge that Stiles knew who he was. Only when their teacher asked for them to turn their homework in did Derek finally broke free from his haze.

*.*.*.*

“Hey mom.” Derek said as he walked into the house. Talia Hale greeted him with a kiss to the cheek as he passed her in the kitchen. Cora was running around excited with a bell belt around her. “How was work?”

“Oh, same old.” His mother answered with the answer she’s always given him. Derek often worried about it. He was aware that his parents faced a lot of problems as well. Talia was often thought of as the black widow, evil lesbian with a crazy daughter who got knocked up from a one night stand and socially stunned son who hangs out with delinquents, that stole one of the most prominent Beacon Hills lawyer’s wife and their daughter. 

The reality was much different from the gossip. Talia married James Hale when they were 18 and they produced a beautiful baby girl named Laura that same year. They were a happy little family, James teaching Laura how to be a rascal, Talia attempting to undo all of that and teach how to be a kind person. They moved to Beacon Hills to start out on their own and it was hard but they made it work. Eight years after Laura, Derek was born and as his sister tells it, James was over the moon about the second baby.

He wanted to create some kind of a sport just for the four of them. But one night he was going out to buy diapers and James died in a hit and run. It devastated Talia who lost her job and nearly her children in her grief. She rarely talks about her deceased husband.

Derek doesn’t remember his father. Not many photos of him in the Hale possessions. 

Talia found herself falling for Natalie Martin who was her social worker and helped her find a new job as a cleaning lady in a library and when Derek was seven his mother engaged in a civil union with Natalie. It wasn’t fast and it wasn’t theft of a spouse.

It was something that happened and the two women were in love to this day. Lydia once asked in a cold manner if Natalie ever loved her father. 

Natalie answered that she did up to the point where he became abusive and tried to get her fired. It was a tough thing to hear for an eleven year old. Especially at Christmas. Since that day Lydia worked her hardest to be nothing like her father or her mother. 

“How about school? Did everyone like your new bag?” Derek’s mind flashed to long, slim fingers touching the fabric. 

“Um…It was good. I got an A on one of my assignments.” Talia smiled happily. 

“That’s great, honey. I’m sure you’re going to get a scholarship with grades like that.” He hummed in agreement but he didn’t have many hopes. His back-up plan for colleges not accepting him was to go to New York and work in his uncle Peter’s club. He didn’t want to do that. Peter was strange. But the offer was there and he imagined he could get good tips if he tried. “Oh, Laura was asking if you could pick her up from work tonight. She walked to the station today and decided that was really silly. Something about running across town last night.” Derek’s eyes widened as he tried to think of something to say when Cora ran into the back of his leg with a big laugh.

“GOTCHU PIKACHU!” She yelled gleefully and ran into the living room. 

“Corrie, sweetheart! Be careful.” Talia shouted after her with worry in her voice but she was stirring something in the pot so she couldn’t go after the three year old. 

“I’ve got her.” Natalie’s voice rang through the room and Derek saw his step-mother sitting on the couch with a bunch of closed files next to her as Cora was dancing in front of her to a Disney song coming from the tv. “Hey, Derek, would you be able to do me a favour?”

“Depends on what it is.” He answered cautiously sitting his bag on the couch and unpacking it.

“When you go to pick up Laura, can you give the Sheriff this?” She pointed to the stacks of folders. “I was helping him out on a case and it would save me time to give him back the files today instead of me going out of the way tomorrow.” Derek shrugged.

“Sure, I’ll take them. Can I read what’s in them?” Natalie smirked in a way that looked teasing on her but predatory on Lydia. 

“Only if you want to do something illegal.”

“You know me, I’m a bad boy deep down.” Derek replied, getting a laugh from both Cora and Natalie, before venturing upstairs to his room. Lydia was studying in hers. He said hi as he passed by and she waved in return. His bedroom door was wide open and he saw multiple colouring books scribbled in on the floor. Cora didn’t understand the term of boundaries yet. Derek was just glad she didn’t pull his things out like last time. He collected her books and crayons off the floor, putting them on his desk. They were all Harry Potter colouring books and Derek smirked as his sister was influencing her child from an early age. 

When Cora was in her womb, Laura read a chapter each night from the books and during labour she screamed bloody murder till Order of the Phoenix was put on. Strangely it calmed her down. She bought as much StarKid merchandise made into onesies as she could afford. Cora was a Harry Potter legacy whether she liked it or not. Disney was a small competition but then Laura started explaining to her child everything that was wrong with it and Cora quickly lost interest even though she was too young to understand most of the words coming out of her mother’s mouth.

Derek booted up his laptop and put his Nokia next to it. It was rare for anyone to call him besides Talia, most of the time he just received texts from Erica and Isaac saying how he needed to get his phone updated because it was inconveniencing them. 

He had a couple of emails and some Facebook messages. He ignored most of them but of course the group chat popped up and he was dragged into conversation between Boyd and Isaac who were excited over some new game. Derek didn’t really game so he didn’t know much but from what they were typing, it was a big deal. They were considering on skipping school to go to the game’s launch. 

Erica joined in and started saying how they were pathetic and had no lives. Derek shot back with the fact that she skipped school for a week to go to a movie premiere. She argued it was a once in a lifetime chance and she met Lupita Nyong’o and he was just jealous. Isaac then added that they need to stop being so annoying and talk about things that were important to present time not past.

Their conversation went back and forth for a while until it was time for Derek to get Laura. He grabbed his jacket and went back downstairs where Talia, Natalie, Lydia and Cora in her special high chair were getting ready to eat dinner. Talia asked if he wanted to eat before he went to get his sister but Derek declined knowing that if Laura was sentenced to eat by herself, she would create some stupid game and the kitchen would be covered in raw eggs.

His mind was empty of thoughts as he drove to the station. It was nice and pleasant. He pulled up to the station and walked leisurely to the building hoping Laura would give the files to the Sheriff herself so that he didn’t have to. He was actually planning that they would get home in about half an hour and he’d have two whole hours to study before he could watch a random show on netflix till he fell asleep.

“Hey, Hale.” And all his plans just went kabluey.

Derek’s heart stopped as a sight of Stiles Stilinski leaning over a desk with his many layers and hoodies riding up so that a patch of skin was visible, greeted him. 

“H-hey…” Derek said weakly. Stiles straightened up with a pink highlighter in between his teeth and a hand holding sellotape. He nodded to a poster on the wall of Deputy Parrish asking people to volunteer for various clubs. Derek shuffled slowly behind Stiles as the Sheriff’s son started defacing the poster. He coloured in, with strange precision, the Deputy’s face. Derek just stared awed as Stiles’ hand worked over the poster, not even realising he was participating in a crime. 

Stiles grinned at him, little lights of mischief glittered in his eyes making them even more golden than usual, although perhaps it was the fluorescent lights in the station or the reflection of the street lamp outside. 

The lacrosse player unrolled the tape and started to double tape the poster in many different directions; going across, vertical, crisscross. It grew around the wall so that it was more difficult to take off the wall. Stiles pulled out a black marker out of his very loose jeans’ backpacker and started scribbling something. Derek was so mesmerised he didn’t even pay attention to the words.

“STILES!” The boy in question froze mid ‘ _douchebag_ ’. Derek quickly turned to see the Sheriff and his sister at the desk, Laura smirking in her coat already and her boss red with fury. He resembled the pink Parrish poster. Stiles slowly dropped the marker and the highlighter. He finished off the sellotape. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” His father shouted. 

Stiles winked at Derek, nearly giving him a heart attack in the process, before turning to his father with big Bambi eyes. 

“To what would you be referring to, dear father?” Stiles asked in the most innocent tone. Being new to it, Derek’s mind immediately registered the voice to use in any future fantasies. 

“I mean the defaced poster of one of my deputies!” The Sheriff yelled pointing at the wall behind. Stiles didn’t even glance at it. He just grinned at his father smugly.

“At least I’m not a murderer.”

“I’M ABOUT TO BE, STILES!” Derek chose that moment to cough and take the situation into a different direction. Laura raised her eyebrow as Derek took a step away from Stiles to come forward.

“Sorry, umm, sir.” He said unsure of how to address his imaginary father-in-law. Stiles’ snickered behind him and Derek felt the top of his ears burn with embarrassment. “My step-mom asked me to give you these.” He passed the files he nearly dropped when Stiles showed up before him to the Sheriff who took them, suspiciously eyeing them. He glanced through before recognition set in.

“Oh, that.” He sighed heavily looking back to Derek with tired eyes. “Thanks, kid. Better get on this now.” Laura crossed her arms.

“I can do that. You should’ve been home an hour ago.” She said with a self-assured look. 

“I second that.” Stiles said, coming to stand next to Derek again. Derek who shuffled once more coughing to decrease the rising tension in his chest. “Can’t it wait, dad? Mom’s been blowing up my phone like a psycho ex.”

“Stiles.” The Sheriff groaned at his son’s words. “Can you be any cruder?”

“Yes.” The teenager replied with confidence. Laura waved her arms as John Stilinski was ready to retort again probably ensuing a verbal sparring match between the father and the son.

“Listen, boss.” She said to the Sheriff who rolled his eyes at the term. “It’s better I deal with this, I know the kid personally anyways so I’m more familiar.” John still didn’t look convinced.

“Dad, please.” Stiles said pleadingly and there was no doubt. The Sheriff was leaving whatever it was to Laura. He thanked her quietly and Stiles nudged Derek bored of his father’s conversation. “So how’s the bag doing?” Derek blinked a couple times too much trying to grasp the context of the words coming out of the mouth he’s been dreaming about since the first grade. Of course back then it was less in a sexual context and more in a ‘ _I will share my jukebox with you_ ’. 

“The…bag.” Derek breathed out and his glasses actually fogged up. Stiles’ mouth quirked up in a smile and his eyes crinkled slightly. “It so fine. I mean.” Derek coughed once more and tried to focus on choking out coherent sentences. “It’s fine. It’s great!” He winced at the loud enthusiasm. Stiles didn’t seem affected though and nodded knowingly, his face serious.

“I’m really good with stuff like that. I basically live my life on the edge where staying upwards is not recognisable by my law and have had to learn to clean my own shit ‘cause my mom started a petition when I was five that I’m treating her with utter cruelty and spread it around the neighbourhood which really alerted Mrs Caplin across the street in the house with the ugly gnome that me and Scotty once used to get cookies off his fridge because Melissa hides them so he doesn’t get a sugar rush because he’s got asthma and if he gets overexcited, he can ran out of breath and he can choke and I don’t want him to choke ‘cause he’s my bro, you know, even though I often feel like he drops me for any of his love interest sometimes and never apologises, but he’s always been my number one bro and I wanted cookies so I only gave him one when I ate four and we put the cookies back and the ugly gnome but it was super heavy because we were only eight when we did that ‘cause when you’re eight, things are not nearly as light as when you’re seventeen and now I am like super powerful and shit because of lacrosse, hey, you should totally come to one of the games, I know it’s not your thing because you study all the time, Hale, and that’s cool and all and I know that you hate it because Jackson is a douche and Kate is a giant douche but not everyone on the team is that horrible.” Derek had no idea how to respond as Stiles continued to speak in one breath. “Ennis is alright, Kira is the sweetest person ever and her and Malia are the coolest power couple our school has ever seen and they both kick ass on the field, well you know how much Malia rocks because she’s your cousin, right? And Danny is the best and the nicest person ever he’s dating one of the twins and the twins are really horrible but Danny doesn’t let Ethan treat him badly at all and then there’s Deacualion who is a prick, not going to lie, Kali is a bit weird but then you get to know her and she’ll protect you even if you spend most of your time on the bench, Allison is the sweetest person ever and Greenberg who is the most useless freaking goalie ever. He’s like Jerry from Parks & Recreations, you ever watched that show? Because Greenberg is like Jerry and you just wanna set him on fire but that’s a crime and for some weird reason Finstock has like a weird belief that Greenberg is going to get better one day. And there’s me and Scotty of course, Liam is pretty young but he’ll grow into it, I feel like a mama bird over him ‘cause he’s like a lil bird that gotta learn to fly and Imma be helping him and Braeden who is just waiting for people to die so she can get in the game and Matt who is one creepy mofo and Jennifer who quotes poetry when she’s about to score to scare her enemies and Mason the newbie who gets hyped about shit and uuuuhhhh….” Stiles’ eyes wandered off into the distance as his mind kept on thinking. “I guess…that’s it. I don’t get to play a lot but you should come because it’s fun and it’s like school spirit and the atmosphere when a hundred people or so are joined in just one thing it can be awesome man!” Stiles finished off with a huge smile and his hands spread wide open in the air. Derek didn’t even notice when his sister and the Sheriff left the reception but he was very aware that Stiles expected some sort of response from the awkward silence and the decreasing smile for every moment Derek didn’t say anything. 

“I’d uh…I don’t really…I’m not a big fan of organised sports.” Derek admitted quietly, his subconscious kicking him for letting a brilliant opportunity to get to know Stiles by. The Stilinski teenager dropped his arms and looked heartbreakingly dejected. Derek took a shy step forward and leaned into his space, trying to catch the lacrosse player’s eyes. “But I like movies.” He said hoping it would spark interest in Stiles. “If you…If you want, that is, uh, I mean, if you are bored or whatever, then I, we, me included, go see a movie, I could sit next to you, or not, if you don’t, or come over to mine, I have movies, if you, there’s a house and it, doors and yeah…” He finished feeling like he has lost his brain and staring at the floor. He took a deep breath waiting for Stiles to burst out into laughter and mock him and call up all his popular friends so they could all mock him at school together. The tiles on the ground were muddy and dusty from the amount of shoes on it throughout the day.

But the mockery didn’t come. After moments of nothing but breathing a hand came into his view.

“Give me your phone.” Stiles demanded in a way too happy voice. 

“Why?” Derek mumbled out, tears poking from behind his eyes. 

“So I can type in my number and we can see a movie together.” Stiles’ cheerful voice explained and he waggled his fingers. Derek looked up at the other boy, feeling sure that Stiles was making fun of him but there was nothing but genuineness in his smile. He pulled out his Nokia and passed it over, trying to ignore the overfamiliar burn of humiliation in his chest as Stiles snorted at the ancient relic. “I didn’t even think they made these anymore.”

“They don’t.” Derek said. “My grandma gave it to me when she got an upgrade.” Stiles gaped at him.

“Dude, that’s so cool. All my grandma gives me is recipes for Polish dumplings. Apparently there’s more than one kind.” He said whilst he typed and sent off a text. His own phone binged a second later. “Cool, I’ll message you later.” He gave the phone back to Derek with a happy face and that was when his father and Laura came back into the room.

“Derek, we have a detour.” Laura said with a grim facial expression. John looked exhausted but he motioned for Stiles to follow him. The younger Stilinski gave Derek another wink with a playful grin before following his father. Derek stared at the door not believing what just happened. 

“So, you got the hots for the Sheriff’s kid, huh?” Laura put her arm around him. In her boots she had a couple of inches on Derek. “That’s hot.” 

“I’m your brother.” Derek groaned. “Don’t tell anyone.” 

“Who am I gonna tell?” She shrugged and went outside. “You’re like my only friend.” 

“That’s sad.”

“That’s motherhood, jackass.” Jordan Parrish walked up to them. Derek didn’t have an opinion of the man but Laura didn’t like him for some reason. 

“Hey.” Parrish said.

“Hey.” Laura replied. "I’m gonna head out to the Lahey household.” Derek frowned at his sister who was updating her colleague. "There’s been more reports of domestic disturbance so if I can, I’ll probably take the child home since he’s Derek’s friend.”

“Okay, I’ll alert everyone on tonight. Does John know?” Laura narrowed her eyes.

“The **Sheriff** is aware, yes.” She answered coldly. “Someone left a surprise for you inside, _Jordan_.” She smiled maliciously. “Have a great night.” Derek followed his sister to the car but he could hear Jordan screaming ‘ _ **FUCK’S SAKE! THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE!**_ ’ when the man went inside. Laura’s cackle definitely grew more evil since the last time Derek heard it.

*.*.*.*

Getting Isaac away from his father was very tense and awkward. Laura banged her fist loudly on the door so that a couple of neighbours came outside to look at the disturbance. When Mr Lahey came out, he looked like he wanted to strangle something but she spoke before he had any idea what was going on, flashing her badge at him as if the whole town didn’t know that Laura Hale was a cop. 

She was talking fast, loudly and with confidence. Laura had dealt with a lot of abusive assholes in her life. When she asked for Isaac, Mr Lahey was obstructive and didn’t want his son to leave. However when Isaac showed up with a bruise and wide eyes in the door, it didn’t matter what his father said. Laura asked him if he wanted to leave the premises which he had every right to do as he was eighteen now and he practically shouted his agreement, not even looking at his father. He walked so fast to the Camaro, Derek thought he could have a career as a speed walking athlete. Laura informed Mr Lahey very loudly that Isaac will be staying at the Hale-Martin household as long as he feels safe and that he should expect her to come back to cuff him soon. 

All the neighbours loved the entire spectacle and Derek could still see everyone outside as they were driving away. Mr Lahey was seething in the side mirror. Isaac didn’t say a word until he was in Derek’s bedroom, colouring one of Cora’s books. She said he could have it since she was going sleepy sleep and gave him a big hug. Talia and Natalie listened to Laura’s explanation of what was happening with a knowing expression. It didn’t seem to be news to them.

“Your sister is so cool.” Isaac broke the silence as Derek was typing an essay about the evolution of sport. “Just saving me like a damsel in distress that I am.” 

“Isaac.” Derek started off nervously. "How come you never told me that your dad hurt you?” Isaac scoffed disbelievingly, the already purple bruise looking bad in the lamp light.

“C’mon. We don’t do that.” Derek frowned not understanding. “The four of us are friends and we know shit is not alright but we don’t actually talk about it. I mean, we know Boyd is poor as hell and he uses the ice rink computer where he works to go on the internet because he lives in a trailer with his parents and three siblings. Erica is so reliant on male affection she’s had oral sex with some of the grossest people in school just so they could tell her she’s pretty not to mention her epilepsy. You are poor, your mom is hated by the town, your niece’s father is a scary bastard, you have no male role models, you’re in love with Stiles but too afraid to do anything about it and you were sexually assaulted by Kate Argent. I have the easiest issue out of all of us. My dad just likes to pummel me and lock me in a fridge. That’s easy.” Derek shook his head.

“You talk about it like it’s nothing but Isaac. He **abuses** you.” Isaac looked at his friend like he was an idiot.

“I’m very aware of the fact, Derek.” He closed the book. “I have bruises and years of traumatising memories as evidence.” Derek looked at the floor. 

“I want to help you but I don’t think I can. I’m sorry. I’m not very good at…emotions. And I don’t know how to deal with people who got hurt.” Isaac sighed and sat on the bed opposite of Derek. 

“You blackmailed Bitch Argent and Jackoff Douchemore so they would leave me alone and no longer bullied me. I’d say you know how to deal with it a lot better than you think.” Isaac took a deep breath. “But I don’t think that there is a way you could make me feel better about what my dad did to me. It’s not your responsibility to make me feel better, Derek.” Isaac touched his bruise and winced slightly. “My father is broken. He is disturbed. He is an abuser. He hurts me.” He took a shallow breath. “It’s **not** my fault. I don’t know **how** to get over it. But making horrible jokes out of it gives me confidence to talk about it seriously.” He gave Derek a sad smile, his eyes shining with tears. “Hopefully one day if I get locked in a room, it won’t give me a panic attack and I’ll find a way to get out.” Derek leaned forward and tenderly touched Isaac’s hand. Isaac opened up his palm and laced their fingers together tugging him closer so that Derek sat next to him and the next thing he knew, the two were hugging. It was strange. 

Derek never did that before with anyone other than his mother, Laura or Cora. He never hugged any of his friends. 

It was awkward at first but when Isaac started sniffling, Derek tightened his hold and let his friend cry into his shirt. He didn’t know what to say or how to act. He hoped that that moment of comfort was enough. 

“It’s **not** my fault.” Isaac blubbered into Derek’s shoulder and he could feel himself start to cry as well. 

“No, it isn’t. It really isn’t.” He whispered holding Isaac even tighter.

*.*.*.*

“Can I marry you?” Isaac asked as Laura cleaned her gun. Natalie frowned at the sight but didn’t ask Laura to stop. She knew Laura would just go into another room which wouldn’t actually stop her from doing it. Cora shook her head as Laura smirked.

“Noooooo! Mama’sh mawwying Neville.” The three year old said from her bowl of cereal. Isaac pouted at the little girl.

“But wouldn’t I be a better daddy than Neville?”

“Have you evew shtood up to Voldy?” 

“No, I haven’t.” Isaac admitted defeated. 

“Then no.” Cora put her entire hand in the bowl grabbing the generic corn flakes and licking them off her palm. “Mama! I need a cashtle.” Laura paused in her gun cleaning to look at her daughter. 

“Do you wanna read the tax plan for that?” She deadpanned and her daughter shook her head. “Then no.” Cora grimaced and slapped her hand into the bowl again but this time with malice and wouldn’t look at anyone anymore. Derek was not at all aware of what conversation was happening at the table as he received texts from Stiles that morning. Multiple. Texts.

_From: 24# Kicks Ass!_

_6.01 am_

_sup, so morning is like a super lame thing & u need to make it better_

_From: 24# Kicks Ass!_

_6.57 am_

_duuuuuude wake up, ur not allowed to sleep if i gots 2 do morning laps_

_From: 24# Kicks Ass!_

_7.03 am_

_yehhhhh so scotty said that not every1 is like us and wakes up early and i should leave u b, msg when up?_

_From: 24# Kicks Ass!_

_7.03 am_

_or not! if u don’t wanna_

_dat cool n shizz_

_From: 24# Kicks Ass!_

_7.04 am_

_hahhahahahah we should save moneys and just watch a movie at urs or mine or somewhere where no money gots 2 b spent_

_cus i just realised i aint got any_

_blew my savings on ps4 & watchdogs_

_From: 24# Kicks Ass!_

_7.05 am_

_ok so im gonna stahp cus ya hatin me now, right? u text when u ready, see ya at school_

Derek bit his lip to hide an oncoming grin. If Laura got a hold of his phone, he’d be dead. His chest was full of an unfamiliar emotion he’s never experienced before. It was light and strangely uplifting. He didn’t understand why all of the sudden Stiles was talking to him. He didn’t want to think about it because if he did, he’d be convinced that there was some malicious reason behind it.

“Corrie, hun.” Talia came into the kitchen and sat next to Natalie who leaned affectionately into her wife. “We’re going to be going soon. Finish your breakfast.” The three year old glared at her grandmother and purposely threw the bowl onto the floor. 

“Cora.” Laura growled as she put her gun down and went to get some paper towels. “Say sorry to nana. Now.” Cora blew a raspberry and crossed her arms, getting her outfit dirty. “Cora!” Laura shouted angrily. “Nana put in a lot of effort to find you a nice dress, you say sorry to her.” The three year old turned her back at her mother as much as she could in the small seat but she looked at Talia who was worn out. 

“Sowwy, Nana.” She said sounding genuine. Laura sighed exasperated and cleaned up after her daughter who was ignoring her mother. Lydia came downstairs, looking flawless and bored. 

“Morning.” She grabbed a glass and poured herself orange juice. “How are you, Isaac?” She asked him, sitting down and glancing at the disassembled gun on the table. Isaac raised his eyebrows at the attention. He most likely thought she didn’t even know his name. 

“I’m good. Had a really good night’s sleep.” Lydia nodded and smiled slightly. Laura sat back down next to her daughter who was still pouting. 

“What’s wrong, Cora?” Lydia asked her. But Lydia didn’t ask her like Cora was a three year old. Lydia never spoke like that to anyone. It was beneath her. She asked as if Cora was a full functioning adult with coherent thoughts. Cora loved being treated like an adult and she adored her aunt Lydia. 

“Mama huwt my feelingsh.” Laura rolled her eyes and started assembling the gun.

“What did she do?” Lydia asked interested. Natalie kissed Talia and patted her daughter’s shoulder, before grabbing her case and waving goodbye to everyone as she headed out. 

“She yelled and won’t buy me a cashtle.” Cora explained with her bottom lip quivering. “I really want a cashtle.”

“Well, then that’s simple.” Lydia told her. “All you need to do is save up for it and you’ll be able to buy it yourself.” Cora’s little mouth widened into an ‘o’. 

“I can do that?” Lydia nodded.

“Absolutely. Be self-sufficient. It’s one of the best things in the world.” She told the three year old and finished off her orange juice. “I’m heading out now but we should talk about starting up a savings plan.” Cora was bobbing her head up and down in agreement as her aunt left the house. 

“Well, that was interesting.” Isaac commented. “Is that what’s it always like in your house?” The question rang unanswered. “Derek?” Derek snapped his head up away from rereading the texts on his phone and looked around the table at the remaining occupants who were staring at him half amused.

“Sorry, what?” He asked not even sure who wanted what from him. Laura’s face somehow changed into one of a cat that just ate a canary and he put the phone in his pocket quickly. Talia shook her head and picked up Cora who was now busy counting her fingers and ignoring everyone else. 

“What you got there, little brother?” Laura asked, her jaw nearly unhinged in giddiness.

“Hey, I think it’s time to go to school.”

“Seeing as I’m your ride, I’m in control of that.” She retorted, her teeth grinning at him. Isaac was watching from the sidelines with interest.

“Laura. Can you not…be yourself?” Derek asked.

“Child, I spent 24 years perfecting my personality to the sparkling magnificence that it is today so bitch don’t ever tell me not to be myself because I will slap you silly.” His sister told him and holstered her gun. “Der-bear. If you don’t wanna tell me who has your head in the clouds then that is fine but you should remember that I did take the New York private detective exam and I achieved 97% so I’ll figure it out in two seconds flat.” Her face grew dark. “It’s not Kate Argent, is it?” She asked quietly.

“No, it isn’t.” Derek answered and gave her a piece of paper. “This is the copy of my report by the way. I’m not filing any charges though. I don’t want to go through all that.” 

“You sure? I mean it’s your choice and everything but what if she hurts someone else and you could have prevented it?” 

“Thanks for putting that on me, sis.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Derek stood up and put his empty bowl in the sink.

“No, I get it. You think I’m doing something wrong and in Laura world, if someone does something Laura doesn’t agree with even though they’re doing it for the sake of their own sanity, then they must be wrong.” She stared at him with a stoney expression which he returned easily. She taught it to him and he perfected it over the years of growing up in Beacon Hills. Isaac coughed uncomfortably and fled upstairs mumbling about getting his bag passing by Talia who was walking to the door with bundled up Cora. 

“Please don’t destroy the furniture.” Talia said as she left the house with Cora yelling bye. 

“Derek, listen to me. Reporting it, actually getting this on the record can help.” He laughed unbelievingly.

“Help what? Help me? Help me relive something I don’t want to forget?” He pointed to the piece of paper. “I wrote it down like you asked and even that was horrible because I had to remember what she did to me. But I did because you asked me to which was a ready crappy thing to do. No, it was a **shitty** thing to do. But you were acting insane so I did it to placate you like always.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to relive Kate Argent molesting me. I use it as a weapon for protection for me and my friends at school and that’s how far it’ll go because I don’t want to remember it anymore.” Laura shook her head. 

“But that’s not healthy!” 

“I don’t wanna be healthy! I just wanna pretend it never happened!” He shouted back at his sister who looked like she was struck. “I’m gonna live my life just fine and exist in a universe where it didn’t happen. End of conversation.” He followed Isaac into his room and grabbed his bag. His friend was sitting on his bed, looking out of place. “I’m gonna walk. Laura will give you a ride.”

“You’re gonna be late for Harris.” 

“I don’t care.” Isaac looked like he wanted to say something else but opted not to. Derek put his straps on his shoulders and walked out quicker than anyone could stop him.

*.*.*.*

“Would you look at who the tramp dragged in? Himself.” Erica grinned as Derek sat next to her in chemistry, coming in an hour late. Harris gladly informed him of detention at the end of the day as soon as Derek opened the door. Derek just bit his tongue and went to the back of the classroom. “Care to share with me why Laura dropped off Isaac and not you?” Derek could feel his peers’ eavesdropping. 

“Tell you later.” He mumbled and looked at her textbook as his was still in his locker. Erica wrote something on a piece of paper and passed it to him but Derek couldn’t understand as it was in Klingon. Derek never learned Klingon. Erica sighed frustrated and crumpled up the piece of paper. Derek’s eyes wandered to the front of the classroom where Harris was droning on about something. Derek had a hard time concentrating on anything, guilt over what he said to Laura seeping in. 

Something landed in front of him. Derek frowned at Erica but she was looking in direction of surprisingly Boyd. Derek looked down to see a small ball of paper, drawn all over with a pink highlighter. He opened it up to see a stick figure drawing of someone with a long lacrosse stick grinning widely and what looked like was Derek as a stick figure cheering. The little drawing made his brain malfunction and erased all thoughts as his chest started to tighten with the light feeling he’s started to become familiar with. 

Derek looked up and saw Stiles looking over at him, biting his lip nervously. 

Derek smiled at him. 

Stiles gaped for a second before smiling back. 

And then he fell off his chair onto the floor. 

Derek didn’t laugh like the rest of the class (and Harris). He just looked on worried but as soon as Stiles stood up and rubbed his tail bone, Derek’s brain malfunctioned again and images he’s saved for when he was asleep and had no control over, started to appear again. 

Erica made fun of how red he was the entire rest of the day.

*.*.*.*

The next couple of days passed in awkward silence between the Hale siblings. But Laura had a habit of getting over things quicky. When Derek was six, he accidentally blew up Laura’s birthday cake and broke her porcelain doll that Laura spent months saving up for. Even at twelve years old Laura could hold a grudge better than a politician. Her father taught her to do that. But she had bad self-control and ended up standing over his bed at 1 am, freaking the living shit out of the kid Derek, punching him hard on the chest and said they were even. 

But Derek had a whole different grudge system. If someone wronged him once, he remembered it forever. He even had a little book where he’d written every single time people have hurt him and how. Eternal evidence of wrongdoing to Derek Hale. He never forgot. He forgave but he never forgot. 

There was an entry in there from the second grade written in crayon when Greenberg took his cute eraser and ate it. Derek was super mad because it was the first thing in two years that, other than food, his mom bought for him. Greenberg has never been forgiven for that. Not even when it turned out that Greenberg had pica disorder. So Derek was a bit more stubborn than his sister. 

However when Laura dropped a bouquet of daisies on his bed, he knew that their argument was coming to the end. She threw the flowers at his head waking him up. Isaac was already up and laughing at the doorframe. Derek glared at his older sister but she grinned brightly at him and sprayed whipped cream all over his head. 

“WHAT THE FUCK, LAURA?!” He raged and jumped out of his bed whipping the creamy goodness out of his face. 

“Is that a rage boner?” She asked amused. Derek looked down horrified as his dream was clearly still very much controlling his hormones. “I’ll make fun of you for it later. Listen baby bro.” She looked down at the can of whipped cream in her hands and her tone grew more serious. “I’m sorry for being an asshat. I just… When shit like this happens, I am not okay with it. I’m not okay with people getting hurt. And I’m especially not okay with you getting hurt. You know what happened with Cora’s dad and me. I never ever want you to be forced into any sort of abusive situations and I get crazy, I know. But you have to understand that it comes from a loving and protective place.” Derek glanced at the door but Isaac was gone. “You have to understand that I’m very angry over what happened. You have to understand my train of thought.” Derek run a hand through his hair which was sticky from the whipped cream. 

“Why?” He asked quietly. “Why do I have to understand anything? You clearly don’t think you did anything wrong.” 

“I **know** I did something wrong. I hurt you. And I’m truly sorry for that. But you have to understand because I’m your sister, I was a victim of sexual and domestic abuse and I didn’t get justice for the crimes against me. I want justice for you. You have to understand because I’m going to be in your life forever. That’s not an opinion or one of those things people say but never meet. That’s a fact, Derek. I’ve never let you out of my sight and I’m not going to let you out now. You and I have been through so much shit together that it is physically impossible to separate our lives.” She moved forward and grinned. “We’re gonna die together bro. We’re gonna be like a hundred and we’re gonna be looking at the sunset or some shit and there’s going to be our families running around and playing and our partners somewhere but you and I? We’re going out together, Derek.” He felt his heart melt at his big sister’s words and bit his lip staring at her hands still holding the whipped cream can. 

“Bull.” He took the can. “You’re gonna die first. You’re a fossil.” He sprayed some whipped cream at her face. She shoved him back but laughed at that. 

“You’re the one that wants to hook up with the sheriff’s kid.” She tried to grab the can back but he just sprayed her more and they started to wrestle for it.

“You’re the one who has a gun. I think I should get one too just to be even.” He laughed and wiggled free running past her out of the room to the kitchen where some of Cora’s toys were. 

“DEREK HALE!” Laura screamed from upstairs as Derek found his toy and started filling it up with water. Isaac stared curiously from the table whilst Cora clapped her hands excitedly. “I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!” 

“WATEW BATTWE! WATEW BATTWE!!!” Cora started shrieking happily as Derek passed one of the water guns to Isaac.

“Defend yourself soldier. This is war.” He said in all seriousness. Laura suspiciously was still upstairs which Derek assumed meant that she had her own weapons. Lydia came in from the living room, dressed in a long grey jumper that belonged to Derek once upon a time. 

“Did I hear something about a water fight?” She asked curiously. Isaac smirked. 

“Don’t want to get your hair wet?” She hummed thoughtfully before grabbing the water gun out of his hand with the least amount of movement. “Woah.” Isaac said impressed. 

“Honey, I’m a natural at his game.” She smiled predatorily and tied her long strawberry blonde hair up into a messy bun. “We doing teams or everyone for themselves?” Derek filled up two more guns passing one once more to Isaac and the other to little Cora. 

“Alliances are permitted.” He froze his gun mid-air. Isaac mouthed ‘what’ at him but Derek put his index finger to his mouth and soundlessly moved past the fridge to look at the staircase. He didn’t see anything but the silence was eerie. Just as Isaac got up off his chair, Laura threw herself down the staircase and yelled shooting everyone in sight. 

And thus, with a battle of water, the hatchet between the Hale siblings was buried.

*.*.*.*

Derek swallowed nervously as he stared at the door. Laura long gone and blessedly, no comment on the way. He wore his cleanest shirt. It was a green long sleeved one that Natalie got for him last year. He put it in his closet and forgot about it. His stepmother beamed when she saw him leave in it. 

Derek took a deep breath and knocked lightly. Too lightly. He berated himself mentally for being a human disaster and knocked again louder. His knuckles hurting in the process. 

“I got it! DAD, I GOT IT!” Derek heard on the other side and felt pleasantly stunned. “FATHER, SIT YOURSELF DOWN!” There was a large thud followed by glass crashing and a very manly yelp which ended with a bang on the door. Derek listened concerned and nearly pressed his ear to the door when it was ripped open and a grinning Stiles appeared. He was patting his forehead bashfully.

“Yo, yo, yo.” He laughed. Derek loved that laugh. It was full of movement and loud and obnoxious but in that way where you know that the person is having fun and you’re jealous because you want to join in on the fun. “Walking is hard, man. You gotta do like one foot in front of the other. I prefer just falling and hoping for the best.” Derek nodded understandably.

“I live in a house with a toddler and every step is a safety hazard. I’ve got bruises all over myself thanks to various toys.” Stiles eyes glazed over for some reason and Derek frowned thinking he probably bored him but in a second, the other teenager seemed to return to the present.

“That umm…” Stiles coughed into his hand and his neck started turning a shade of wonderful scarlet. Derek chalked it up to the different temperatures between the inside and outside of the house. “That must suck.” Stiles wheezed out and started coughing. “Just…bruising… and stuff… man…” Derek looked at him worriedly and patted his arm empathetically. 

“We can reschedule if you’re sick.” He offered to Stiles who shook his head and held his breath, Stiles’ face reddening. “It’s okay. We can watch Deadpool some other time.” Stiles let out another round of coughs and waved his hand in Derek’s face, which Derek took as a gesture to wait but he stared at Stiles concerned. 

“No.” Stiles let out, his voice croaky from the coughs. “Sorry. Just weird body.” Derek’s thoughts disagreed with that statement wholeheartedly. “I’m not ill. Come on, dude. My rooms upstairs.” Derek’s mind flashed to when he was in Stiles’ room with Kate. He hoped that this time, he would come out with better memories. Sheriff Stilinski was in the living room standing up to probably greet Derek but Stiles grabbed Derek’s wrist and dragged him up the stairs. “Dad, we’re watching a movie! Don’t interrupt unless there’s a sniper!” Derek waved at the Sheriff on the way past and got a wave in return.

“If there’s a sniper, we’ll be dead within seconds, kid!” Stiles’ father replied.

“At least I’ll die doing something I love!” Derek’s mind processed that in an R rated way and combined with Stiles still holding onto him, his brain starting to throw inappropriate images in front of his eyelids. “WATCHING AWESOME MOVIES!” He pushed Derek in the direction of the bed and slammed the door before turning to him with sparks in his eyes. 

“Alright, so Deadpool first and Rogue One next or the other way around?” Derek too startled by being accidentally thrown at the bed he fantasised about and experienced sexual assult on, just stared at Stiles in gobsmacked silence. “Yo, you good?” Derek felt his chest constricting as his memories of the night were overtaking his vision. The TV on the desk seemed far less menacing in the daylight. “Derek?” Stiles walked over to him apprehensive and sat down on the bed as well. “What’s up?” 

Derek’s voice was locked away somewhere. He didn’t anticipate this. He was worried he wouldn’t be okay because of his watermelon sized crush on Stiles but he did not even for a second consider that this would be a problem. That he would not be comfortable in this room. In Stiles’ room. 

It was a nice room. A bit messier than his own but it smelled of Stiles and had his personality thrown all over the walls with posters and maps and articles. 

But it was where Kate hurt him. 

It was here. The bed he sat on was where he was pushed back by her. Where she unzipped him and hissed that it would be easier if he just did what she said. 

Where he felt weak and helpless. Where she violated him.

He looked at Stiles bewildered as he moved in front of him, sitting on the ground with genuine worry in his face. 

“Derek, what’s the matter?” He asked gently and quietly. Derek’s hands curled into fists. 

“Why are you talking to me?” He spat more venomously than he intended. “Nearly eighteen years of not knowing I exist and all of the sudden, you want to be my friend? Why? So you and the rest of the team can piss themselves laughing at me? So you can get in good with her?” Stiles’ eyes widened as Derek kept speaking. “Is your camera on now? Is she watching me and having a blast at how much of an idiot I am to believe you actually want to hang out? How I came here? How you convinced me to step a foot inside this room?” Something similar to recognition drew over Stiles’ face and he stepped away slowly from Derek. His mouth pressed in a thin line. “God, I’m so stupid. Laura always told me not to let my crush get in the way and think straight but I idiotically came here. I believed that you and I could be friends at least. I texted you. I never text anyone. And it’s all a joke.” Derek felt himself losing air. “It’s all just her…” He choked. “It’s all just… She’s… She’s never going away…” His mind started blanking out and his vision started getting spotty. His breathing shortening with each inhale. “She’s… never…” Something started buzzing in his ear but he couldn’t understand. His body started rocking itself on the bed. He needed to go, he needed to not be here. He needed to do something. But it was like he was frozen. Like he was back and she was there and he couldn’t believe it was happening. 

“Derek.” A gentle voice pushed itself through the chaos in his head. “I’m going to put my arms around you now.” He didn’t know I would be like this, he didn’t know it would affect him like this, he didn’t know what would happen. “I’m going to keep holding you until you calm down.” He just responded to Allison’s text. He didn’t know what would happen. He didn’t know that she would do that. He didn’t know, he didn’t know. 

“I didn’t know.” He whispered. 

He wanted to see Stiles. That was why he accepted Allison’s request. He just wanted to see Stiles. It was his first party ever. 

There were arms around him. He turned his head and found golden honey eyes staring at him. They were warm. The arms and the eyes. The arm hold tightened around him. 

“What are you doing?” Derek asked breathlessly. They were so close to each other. He could easily count every single one of those long eyelashes. 

“Whenever I had a panic attack, my mom held me as tightly as she could. Something about human contact helping.” Stiles whispered back. Derek nodded and swallowed noticing that the boy who held him followed the movement of his neck. “Derek, do you want to leave?” He asked.

“I don’t…” He was so close to him. His brain shortening out and the only thing he knew was that Stiles was so close. He focused on his mouth. His own parted and he breathed in trying to ignore the salivating of the want. 

He leaned in and closed the distance kissing the boy who held him. It was a simple touch of skin on skin. Chapped mouth against a frozen one. Nothing special. Yet it sent shivers down Derek’s spine. His eyes still open and staring at the mouth even as he distance himself. Stiles followed the distance and kissed him back. This time more movement between their mouths. Inexperienced Derek didn’t know much beyond just pecking the other but it was enough for a couple of minutes. The pecks became longer touches of their mouths. Their parting shorter. When Derek experimentally opened his mouth, Stiles softly let their tongues touch but retreating as soon as the electric spark of that first contact happened. 

“Stop.” He breathed heavily leaning his forehead against Derek. His arms still around him. Stiles breathed for a moment longer before his arms left Derek and he moved to turn the movie on. 

Derek felt numb. In normal circumstances he would have felt something among the lines of stupid or hurt or abandoned but his head was still empty. 

Stiles returned to the bed but moved right to the bed frame and motioned for Derek to do the same. They sat side by side as the title credits started. Stiles tentatively reaching out to hold Derek’s hand. No words between the two were spoken. Midway through the movie, Stiles put his arm around Derek’s shoulder and the other teen laid his head on Stiles’ chest, moving down in the bed. His thoughts returning one at a time. 

When the movie ended, Stiles played it again, not wanting to get up from the bed and change the DVD.

Derek felt his eyes getting heavy and soon enough he was drifting in and out of consciousness with Stiles’ fingers gently stroking through his hair. 

Derek didn’t understand. He didn’t understand anything. In that moment, he felt like he was eight years old again and a stranger has come up to him and spat saying his mother was a slut. He felt like he was five and the world was so big and scary and Laura started swearing. He felt small. 

But he felt safe in that bed with Stiles right there. Stiles that barely spoke to him and he just kissed and insulted. 

“I’m sorry.” He finally said as Stiles replayed the film the third time. “For saying those things to you.” Stiles’ fingers stilled. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” Stiles replied. “I’ve had a crush on you for years too by the way.” Derek didn’t believe that. “Ever since you and Erica did your English presentation on how successful fanfiction is becoming.”

“I don’t remember that.” Derek frowned, his thoughts cloudy.

“Yeah.” Derek could practically hear Stiles grin. “You were talking about Jane Fairfax and how Charlotte Bronte had a boner for that character. Only you called it ‘hypothetically an admirable crush for one of the most underappreciated fictional characters in fictional history’. Exact words that stole my heart.” Derek started to vaguely recall the event. It was in the ninth grade and Erica convinced him that a challenging topic like this would be good for their rep. “I knew then. I knew that I really wanted to get to know you. I’ve just never been brave enough to do it.” The lacrosse player admitted. They fell into comfortable silence for the rest of the film until Derek’s Nokia rang. 

Laura was waiting for him outside. He didn’t know how his big sister knew that he would need her or when he would need her. 

“I need to go.” He regrettably admitted to Stiles and moved to sit up. Stiles sat up with him, eyes looking over Derek.

“Are you gonna be okay?” He asked Derek concerned. 

“No. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.” Derek admitted truthfully. He leaned forward and kissed Stiles. “Can I ask you a favour?” Stiles nodded. “Can you come over to mine tomorrow? I’ll text you the address.” 

“Yeah, I’ll come over. I’ll come over each day you want me to.” They kissed again and Stiles walked Derek out the door, Stiles’ parents absent at that moment. He watched as Derek got into the Camaro and stood in the door as Laura silently drove away from the Stilinski household. She didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. She knew. 

Laura knew all along. But he didn’t listen.

And it felt really shit to have your big sister right all the fucking time.

*.*.*.*

“Laura.” Derek came into her room that night. She was staring at Cora, lost in thought. 

But startled when her little brother said her name.

“Hmm?” She asked him. 

“I want to…” He took a deep breath. “I want to press charges against her.” 

“Oh, Der.” His big sister sighed sadly and stood up to wrap him in a hug. He hadn’t had those in a while and he welcomed it, berating himself for not appreciating them before. “Okay.” 

“I have to tell mom.” He said. “And I think I need counselling.” She nodded, still hugging him. “And I think I’m dating Stiles.” Laura pulled him back immediately and grinned with interest.

“Baby bro, I know you’re having a tough time here but you are so giving me the deets to that asap. At least give me something to hold me over till the good part.” He sighed accepting his fate. 

“I basically had a mental breakdown panic attack thing and he held me until I was okay and we kissed.” Laura squeaked quietly as to not wake up her daughter and her face went red with anticipation. 

“Okay. Waiting is not an option. Your room, now.” She shoved him out the door and Derek told her what happened with her squealing when he got to the kissing part. 

It felt easy. As soon as he spoke about Stiles, he told her about what happened before. About his thoughts, about the room. It was easy to open up once he let himself trust her. 

Derek wondered how difficult it must have been for his mother when she was by herself or for Laura when she didn’t have a friend in the world. 

He had them. 

It was easy to talk. 

And maybe, just maybe, it would be easy for him to fight. 

But Laura said no and she was probably right.

**Author's Note:**

> SO. 
> 
> So. 
> 
> I do not condone anything in this fic. 
> 
> This is gonna get personal here so if you're not interested, you're finished with the fic! Have a cookie and be awesome!
> 
> As a victim of sexual assault I reacted in a very similar way to this fic and I advise anyone who's ever been assaulted to find anyone to talk to. I've been assaulted twice in my life and in the second instance I did go to the police. I've become strong enough to walk past the place of my assault and no longer feel scared or angry or ashamed or any emotion that it would indicate the assault was something 'I had coming'. 
> 
> Unfortunately, my assaulter has never been brought to justice and I dropped the chargers because the police could not find him. The officer who handled my case was wonderfully caring though and she helped me so much. I never felt like a victim through the process thanks to her. 
> 
> I didn't tell my family until a year on and even then it was only a sentence and I shut the topic down because it was not something I wanted to discuss with them. 
> 
> The reason why this story focuses on family so much is my wishful thinking. I would have loved to be this brave to speak to my family with such honesty and trust. 
> 
> This is not meant to be my platform for speaking out about sexual assault so I will wrap this up with something that can help anyone who has been or is or (I pray not) will be in my situation.
> 
>  
> 
> ****  
> [Rape Crisis](http://rapecrisis.org.uk)  
> [Self-Care Master Post](http://campus-survivors.org/post/102894024643/self-care-master-post)  
> [Self Care Masterpost for Male Abuse Survivors](http://selfcaretips.tumblr.com/post/117622068196/resources-for-male-rapeabuse-survivors)  
> [Victim Support](https://www.victimsupport.org.uk)  
> [Samaritans](http://www.samaritans.org)  
> [TEARS Charity](http://www.tears.co.za)  
>  I live in England and I had a great officer helping me however I am aware that this may not be the case for everyone else. I truly hope that there will be someone to help you. 
> 
> I'm reachable at my tumblr: [**X**](http://dominikadecember.tumblr.com)


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